The pace of the universe seems too slow?
	Tired of never quite reaching the speed of light? Unable to arbitrarily reduce your energy simply by switching frames?

Then lightlike technologies is the answer you've been looking for! We are a reputable company that has existed for hundreds of years in certain reference frames.

Though our lightlike solutions are not yet available to the public, those interested in the program should begin a diet in order to lose mass (unfortunately losing weight will not suffice). We recommend either reducing your consumption of matter or, if possible, increasing your consumption of antimatter.

Stay tuned to this site for further lightlike tips!